Guaranteed No Nazi Zombies?

So, I found myself watching Zombiethon again the other day - have I mentioned Zombiethon before?  I'm sure that I must have, but if I haven't, it is a compilation film put out by Wizard Video in 1986, comprising of clips from a number of zombie movies that they had the video rights to at the time.  (Except that not all of the films featured were zombie movies - Fear and The Invisible Dead certainly weren't, but what the Hell, Wizard had the rights to them anyway).  I say clips, but, in reality, for most of the movies it offers what amounts to a condensed version of the film, featuring all the zombie highlights.  These condensed versions are an eclectic mix, including Fulci's Zombie Flesh Eaters, Franco's Virgin Among the Living Dead and, most interestingly, Jean Rollin's Zombie Lake.  That's right, a film about underwater Nazi zombies directed by Jean Rollin.  In reality, most of it was apparently directed by his assistant Julian de Lasema, as Rollin had little interest in the project.  Interestingly, Jesus Franco was originally lined up to direct Zombie Lake, but withdrew late on, although he subsequently made his own Nazi zombie picture, Oasis of the Zombies, (which is also included in Zombiethon), an awful film padded out with footage from the equally poor Italian war movie Heroes Without Glory.

But getting back to Zombie Lake, it might be a terrible film that could only be improved by compressing it into a ten minute highlights reel, but it did make me realise that I've been missing a trick.  While I'm sure that we've all seen those TV programmes where people buy decrepit chateaux in France and renovate them as hotels or wedding venues, clearly what they should really be doing is investing in a piece of rural land with a lake in it and offering bathing facilities to nudists.  Because, if Zombie Lake is to be believed, hordes of nubile young women keep turning up at such venues by the bus load, stripping all their clothes off and jumping in the lake.  The key to my success in setting up such a facility would be to advertise it as guaranteed not to contain any underwater Nazi zombies who enjoy ravaging naked women.  Sure, there'd be at least one lustful voyeuristic man on hand, furtively lurking in the bushes with his binoculars, but what the heck - I'm guaranteed not to physically attack any naked birds.  Consequently, attractive young women could feel safe in bathing naked (maybe even playing basket ball or volley ball naked) to their hearts' content, safe in the knowledge that they won't get their knockers groped (or worse) by jackbooted freshwater dwelling fascists.  That was my other takeaway from that condensed version of Zombie Lake: that Nazi zombies only attack naked women - so all the ladies need to do is keep their clothes on and they'll be safe from those beastly undead storm troopers.  (You can tell that they are uncouth and beastly by the fact that they don't take their coal scuttle helmets off before attacking naked women - a terrible breach of etiquette).  So, that's my retirement plan sorted out - all I have to do now is to locate a French lake that isn't infested with aquatic Nazi zombies.