Friday, August 23, 2019

Trump Island

Has 'President' Trump unwittingly given us the solution for how Britain is to survive post-Brexit?  Having been rebuffed in his attempts to buy Greenland, would it be possible to persuade the ambulatory tub of lard to buy Britain?  I know that we don't have the mineral resources of Greenland, just some exhausted coal mines and a knackered steel industry, but we are well placed in strategic terms.  The British Isles could provide the fat boy with the ideal front-line in his trade wars with the EU - and when he withdraws US military forces from NATO, it will give him somewhere convenient to park all those planes, soldiers and ships.  Then there's all that prime real estate he'll be able to redevelop into golf courses, giant towers, hotels, casinos and the like.  After all, if he owns the place then he won't have all that trouble he had in Scotland when he built that golf course - no pesky local councils to deal with and any uppity local residents can be summarily evicted.  Speaking of which, there's an entire indigenous population to be exploited.  Out would go the NHS, in would come 'Trump Health Insurance', along with 'Trump Food Banks', (subsistence-level provisions for a modest fee), 'Trump Unemployment Insurance' and the like.  Not to mention an overhaul of the education system, with 'Trump Universities' and schools sponsored by various non-tax paying US commercial giants, with special curriculums geared to preparing students for employment on zero hours contracts and fast food joints, coffee shops and mail order warehouses.

That's if the population aren't just shipped off to other parts of the Trump 'empire' in order to provide cheap labour.  They could probably provide an acceptable alternative to all those Hispanics and East Europeans who clean his properties and resorts in the US.  They'd be far less offensive to his clients - they speak a form of English and don't have those horrible accents.  So there you are, selling the UK to Trump would solve all of our post-Brexit problems: new financing for education, health and social security, provision of jobs and even defence, with all those surplus planes and ships stationed here.  From his point of view - no need to try passing tricky new UK-US trade deals through Congress: if he owns the UK, it will all come down to private business arrangements.  I'm sure that the pro-Brexit population of the UK would welcome such an outcome.  After all, it would eliminate completely our entire political class, whom they supposedly hate, as Parliament would, overnight, become an anachronism.  They'd at last have that 'strong governance' from a 'strong leader'.  Not to mention all that money that will come into the UK as a result of the sale price.  Except that I don't see that being shared out amongst us all.  I'm pretty sure that the likes of Boris Johnson and his cronies would succeed in trousering that.  But it would represent a decisive break from Europe, not to mention civilisation and that, apparently, if we are to believe our leaders, is all that matters.

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