Broken Up Britain?

Maybe selling post-Brexit UK to Donald Trump isn't the best solution to the potential disaster of 'No Deal'.  I've been thinking about this and I keep coming back to the fact that UK voters were pretty much split down the middle with regards to that referendum.  So couldn't we just divide up the country on that basis?  I know the practicalities of it might be a bit complex, but I'd favour keeping it simple with a North-South divide.  The South of England could remain in the EU, while the North buggers off  and does its own thing.  Now, I know that there would be a lot of moaning as to how there were places in the North that voted Remain, while parts of the south voted Leave.  But the fact is that large swathes of the North, (not to mention Wales) voted to leave the EU, despite the fact that they were the main beneficiaries of EU financial aid, they were the parts of the country most vociferously blaming 'those immigrants' and those 'metropolitan elites' in the 'south' for their problems.  By contrast, London (which most of those northerners think is synonymous with 'the south'), the Thames Valley and Home counties, were largely 'Remain'.  (Crapchester, however, was an oasis of 'Leave' voters, which shouldn't surprise me as we have so many utter moronic knuckle draggers living here - you know the sort: they'd vote for a huge steaming pile of shit if it wore a Tory rosette).  So, it's simple, we dig a huge ditch somewhere north of Oxford, stretching across the whole of England and declare it a 'hard border', with everything south of it being an independent state retaining EU membership.  (I'm minded to exclude Devon and Cornwall, as they traditionally don't want to be part of England, let alone the EU. Or the twenty first century, for that matter.  Scotland, obviously, would be either independent or become an honorary part of the south. I'd even be prepared to throw the Royal Family in with the North - if they're so patriotic they can pay for the buggers.

Obviously, the newly independent state of Northern Britain will be in the shit financially, as they'll no doubt point out with their usual refrain about how all the wealth is in the south.  Well, tough titty.  They voted to impoverish themselves further by leaving the EU - I don't see why they should drag the rest of us down with them.  But the fact remains that there will be many unhappy leave voters finding themselves forced to remain living in the EU affiliated south and vice versa with northern based remainers.  Obviously, the solution would be some kind of migration, with remainers moving south and leavers north - perhaps they could do house exchanges.  Over time, we'd have a definitive answer to whether being in the EU is beneficial or not: if people start flooding north as the standard of living improves in the 'Free North' and highly paid jobs are created there, then clearly, the leavers would be proved right.  On the other hand if, as I suspect they would, people started flooding south to try and enjoy the benefits of the prosperous EU enabled southern counties, then we Remainers would have bragging rights.  In fact, I suspect that so many of those leavers would be heading south, that we'd have to institute a tough immigration regime, requiring them to demonstrate what skills they have that might be beneficial to the southern economy.  Oh, and they'd have to learn to speak proper English, without those bloody accents. 

I suppose there are other ways to divide the country post-Brexit.  Maybe, rather than a simple North-South divide, we could devolve the country into individual city-states and independent counties.  It would give more variety for people when it cam to choosing their ideal living environment.  Rather than just focus on whether a particular mini-state is pro or anti-Brexit, independent or still a member of the EU, you could choose you place of domicile on the basis of whether it had, say, a majority white population, or encouraged Pride marches, or favoured higher levels of public spending.  Maybe that's the way ahead for 'broken Britain': to literally break the country up.  Jeremy Corbyn should start campaigning on the platform now.