Thursday, June 21, 2018

Taking Back the Streets From the Street Entertainers

I told one of those 'living statue' idiots to 'fuck off' the other day.  I mean, what else was I supposed to do when the arsehole suddenly jerks his arm out at me as I'm walking past? I wasn't in the best of moods to start with and I was running late for the Toy Train Fair, so was in a hurry to buy a paper before setting off.  He really should think himself lucky that I'm on all that medication for high blood pressure - a few months ago I might have decked him.  Which would have served him right for blighting the local town centre with his supposed 'act'.  I have never understood what the bloody point of a grown adult standing around in public pretending to be a statue is.  If it's meant to be entertaining, it isn't.  If it is meant to be some form of artistic expression, again, it isn't.  What it is, is boring and moronic.  Like most self-styled 'street entertainers'.  They really should be prosecuted under the Trades Description Act as there is nothing remotely entertaining about them.  Unfortunately, with the annual Crapchester Festival in full swing, the local town centre is awash with these dicks.  As if the usual bad singers and out of tune guitarists aren't bad enough, they are now joined by armies of jugglers, acrobats and living bloody statues.

I have never understood why the council thinks it a good idea to unleash these freaks and weirdos on local shoppers on a regular basis.  If it isn't the Crapchester Festival, then it's the run up to Christmas which finds the main shopping centre awash with these menaces to society.  I recall some years ago having a set to with some twat on stilts who had smacked me in the face with a plastic butterfly they had on a string while I was trying to do my Christmas shopping.  I ask you, what the fuck was that about?  Can't a man go about his business in a public place without being assaulted by some twelve foot tall wanker?  If I'd had a wood saw with me, then I would, quite literally, have cut them down to size.  But, not being some attention-seeking shit head with delusions of being a 'street artist', I tend not to wander around in public with random tools on my person.  Nor do I walk on stilts, hit people with plastic insects or pretend to be a statue.  You know, I used to think that we had it bad when the town centre was full of those 'charity muggers' harassing everyone as they tried to go about their business.  But at least you could tell them to 'fuck off' without fear of opprobrium.  Judging by the looks I was getting from old ladies and the like after the 'living statue' incident, telling self-styled 'street entertainers' to 'fuck off' is considered beyond the pale.  Is it any wonder the country is going to the dogs.



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