Tuesday, October 04, 2016

Hunters Hunted?

That programme is on - the one on Channel Four.  The one where contestants go 'on the run', trying to evade a team of 'hunters', who use all sorts of tech - surveillance cameras, drones, hacking accounts, that sort of thing - to catch them.  It's called Hunted, not surprisingly.   I've never actually seen a whole episode - it's far too over-dramatic for me, with thumping music and lots of people barking orders at each other - but that's not going to stop me from commenting on it.  Maybe I've seen too many movies starring the likes of Jean Claude van Damme, Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes, but it strikes me that the most obvious and effective way to try and evade the 'hunters' would be to turn the tables on them - instead of running, you hunt them down.  You know the sort of thing: find out where they live and start spooking them by leaving dead pigeons or rats on their doorsteps so as to unnerve them.  Even better, break into their houses and leave dead hedgehogs in their beds.  Maybe decapitate their pet dog or something.  If that doesn't put them off, then you'd just have to threaten their families directly, if they don't stop hunting you.  Kidnapping a love one and threatening their life might do the trick.

If they don't have any close family or loved ones, then you might have to turn the tables completely and start following them - if you start sending them surveillance photos you've taken of them at their home addresses, or walking to work, or buying their newspaper at the local shop, that might scare them into abandoning the hunt.  Alternatively, once you've found where they live, you could break in and try and find some dirt to blackmail them with: fake tax returns, child pornography, bondage dungeons, that sort of stuff.  Actually, planting stuff like child pornography could be even more effective.  One tip off to the police and the bastards would be off your back for good.  If all else failed, you just try buying an illegal firearm and kneecap the first one who got near you - if that didn't deter his buddies nothing would.  In the last resort, you could use the gun to kidnap one of them and threaten to send bits of his anatomy to his colleagues if they don't back off.  Mind you, all of that might be a bit extreme just to try winning what is effectively a TV gameshow.  Just living in a tent on a traffic roundabout might be a simpler way of evading capture...

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home