Monday, October 03, 2016

Brexit Means Brex-Shit

For most of us 'Brexit means Brexit' is merely a tautology, but for others this meaningless slogan represents a potential release from all that red tape the EU imposes on Britain.  You know, all those silly regulations, like having to pay employees, or insisting on those ridiculous and expensive health and safety precautions.  The sorts of things that cost British businesses money.  Worst of all are those environmental regulations which force the UK to waste money building long sewage pipes so that effluent doesn't wash up on British beaches.  Bloody idiotic - a bit of shit in the sand never hurt anyone.  Don't these foreigners know that surfacing with a piece of used toilet paper on your face during a swim is character forming?  Besides, why worry about human crap washing up when fish, whales and assorted other sea creatures are shitting in the sea all the time?   It's not as if the seas is clean in the first place, is it?  Trust me, that's going to be one of the major benefits of Brexit: the ability to dump untreated sewage directly onto our coastline.

Mind you, we'll have to ensure that that only British shit washes up on British beaches.  We don't our kids stepping in foreign turds during their Summer holidays now, do we?  Clearly, someone will have to devise a way of filtering out those foreign ones before it all gets dumped into the sea, just a few feet from the beach.  Obviously, with Brexit meaning that all those EU immigrants are being thrown out of the country, there should be far less foreign shit in our sewage system, making less of a problem.  Nevertheless, something will still have to be done.  Perhaps we could have people actually viewing the sewage and spotting the foreign stuff before it is all ejected into the sea.  I mean, there must surely be a study somewhere, (probably dome by one of those immigration watch-type organisations), which identifies the visual differences between British and foreign turds? The simplest solution would be to make foreign visitors to the UK shit in buckets and take their filth back home with them.  Repatriate foreign shit!  That's what Brexit means!

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