Keeping it Up

So, looking at internet pornography makes your dick fall off.  At least, that's what the UK media wants us to think.  (Presumably, they'd rather we all looked at that 'safe' porn they print on page three).  Yes indeed, that evil scourge of Britain's youth, online smut, was under attack again earlier this week, with the media wheeling out an 'expert' to tell us that the reason why so many young men apparently suffer from erectile dysfunction is that they've spent too much time wanking over porn on their smart phones.  I never knew that you could literally tug the stiffness out of your penis - are there really a finite number of erections a man can experience, so they shouldn't be wasted on wanking?  I mean, that sounds suspiciously like that other piece of anti-wanking propaganda, that if you choke your chicken too much you'll run out of sperm.  Completely untrue, of course - if you only had a finite amount of sperm, then men would be lugging around their  huge testicles in a wheelbarrow like that Viz character, until they'd used enough up that their balls would fit in their pants again.  Likewise, an ability to get it up has nothing to do with playing with your todger too much.  I speak from personal experience when I say that wanking (whether over internet porn or just the regular variety) does not affect your ability to get it up.  Believe me, overuse does not affect the strength of erections.

Obviously, as one gets older, things like blood pressure issues can affect a man's ability to rise to the occasion. (Erectile problems can, apparently, sometimes be an indication of more serious cardiac and circulatory problems).  These days, mind you, I find that ennui is the greatest enemy of my ardour: there are times I just can't work up any interest.  Which probably isn't surprising in a man my age, who is well past his sexual prime, (although I'm not quite sure when that was - I think it was in the afternoon, possibly on a Wednesday in May, many, many years ago), this sort of 'erectile exhaustion' is what's being blamed for the supposed problems of Britain's youth.  They've effectively 'overdosed' on porn, thanks to its ready availability on the web, the theory goes, and the 'real thing', when they encounter it, can't match up the expectations raised by what they've seen, resulting in their inability to perform.  Whilst it is true that, back in my youth, we didn't have access to pornography on the scale it is now freely available, (we had to rely on damp porn magazines dumped in hedges), it didn't curb our masturbatory fantasies.  If it was possible to wank oneself to death, there would have been a massive mortality rate in my peer group.  Moreover, in those parts of the world where porn was treated as normal - the Scandinavian countries and the Netherlands, for instance, there were no mass outbreaks of 'wanker's droop'.   Arguably, the greater availability of porn the web has brought is a good thing for countries like the UK, where sex is still something we get hung up about.  Being less furtive about such matters can surely only be a good thing, engendering a far more healthy attitude toward sex, seeing it as something normal, not something to be ashamed of or sniggered about.  But the Tories are still obsessed with the idea that freely available internet porn lies at the root of Britain's moral decline, rather than their economic and social policies.  At the end of the day, I don't know if there actually is an increase in erectile dysfunction amongst Britain's young men,  Even if there is, i doubt very much it has to do with them whacking off over internet smut.