Monday, November 09, 2015

Twitter Twats Strike Again

So the Twatterati have been grossly offended again over the weekend.  Twice, in fact.  I spent the latter part of my Sunday morning in bed reading on my mobile, with increasing incredulity, the breaking 'news' that Corbyn's alleged failure to bow his head sufficiently when laying a wreath at the Cenotaph had caused outrage in the twittersphere and that this has come on top of their being offended by the previous night's episode of Doctor Who, which had shown a plane being shot down by a missile.  Obviously, this latter incident was a heinous offence against taste, as it came only a week after a real Russian airliner had crashed, killing everyone on board, (although the cause of the crash still hasn't been established - it might have been a terrorist bomb, or it might have been the Zygons, like in Doctor Who).  Obviously, the BBC should have scrapped the episode, just in case the Zygons were behind the airliner atrocity, (even though the aircraft incident was the resolution of the previous week's episode and viewers would have missed the resolution of an ongoing storyline), after all, as one particularly moronic tweeter demanded: 'Don't Russian lives matter?'  Of course they do and in that spirit, here and now, I'm going to condemn Dave for having shown The Hunt for Red October on Saturday afternoon - a film which includes a sequence where a Soviet submarine is destroyed and the entire crew killed.  For God's sake - don't Russian lives matter?  Don't they know that only a week before a load of Russians had died?  Albeit in a plane, not a submarine.  Moreover, the Russians in the sub were Soviet-era and therefore a bunch of commies.  So their lives probably didn't matter.  Besides, they weren't even real.  Just like Doctor Who wasn't real.    

As for the Corbyn business - utterly idiotic.  Despite the fact that the video footage of the ceremony clearly shows him bowing his head, what would it matter if he hadn't?  It certainly wouldn't have been as disrespectful as photoshopping a poppy onto one's lapel, so as to look caring, as Caneron had done, (does this mean that there are no photos anywhere of the pig fucking bastard being respectful and wearing a poppy?).  Not that the fact of the video evidence has bothered the right wing press, which have picked up the baton from the twitter twats and run with it.  The question I'd like to ask the cretins who started the Corbyn business on Twitter is why there were watching the Cenotaph ceremony on TV in the first place?  If they really care so much about respecting the dead of previous wars, why the fuck didn't they get their fat arses down to their local remembrance ceremony, eh?  No, you just couldn't be fucking bothered, could you, you disrespectful bastards.  I know your sort - parading around ostentatiously displaying the biggest poppy you can find on your lapel, so that everyone knows that you are even mort sanctimonious and caring than all the other hypocrites.  You scumbags are one of the many reasons why I never wear a poppy.  That's right, I don't fucking wear one!  How disrespectful is that, eh?  You see, I'm exercising my freedom of choice - something you morons keep telling me that all those people you are 'respecting' fought a war to protect.  (Moreover, I don't feel the need to advertise whether or not I've made a charitable contribution - that's my personal business). 

But you know what I think is really disrespectful?  Forget the angle of Corbyn's head - it was the Queen farting during the ceremony.  Everyone could hear it, even though they started playing the 'Last Post' early to try and cover it up.  I mean, I know that I didn't actually watch the ceremony (I was in bed - how disrespectful is that, eh?), but I definitely know that it happened.  I should have started a hashtag #queenfarts, but, to be frank, I had better things to do - like getting on with my life.  This whole weekend twitter nonsense has just reinforced what I've been saying for a long time: you should have to possess some kind of licence to be allowed onto the web.  Something which can only be awarded after you've passed a test to establish a minimum level of intelligence, a sense of humour, the ability to detect irony and a normal threshold for being offended.  Really, it's the only way to avoid this kind of idiocy.

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