Bottoms Up

It's an outrage, I tell you.  A bloody outrage - Tory MPs being forced to resign as ministerial aides because they've been caught paying Brazilian male prostitutes to buy drugs for them.  Allegedly.  Let's not forget that the MP in question has said that the newspaper story exposing him contained many inaccuracies.  Like the fact that the rent-boy was Venezuelan, not Brazilian.  Regardless of where in South America he came from, it is totally outrageous that a Tory MP should be employing foreign male prostitutes.  I mean, he wasn't even from another European Union country!  How unpatriotic are these Tory bastards, eh?  Really, how are young Brits meant to get on if even our MPs persist in using foreign prostitutes?  Whatever happened to buying British?  It seems this government only wants to bugger the lower orders metaphorically, not literally.

Obviously, working class bottoms aren't good enough for these toffs - the only indigenous rent-boys they'd consider would be those who had, at the very least, attended a public school.  Once again, it seems that privilege pays dividends in Cameron's Britain.   But, getting back to the point, for a party which has so many backbenchers opposed to gay marriage, the Tories do seem to have a lot of prominent MPs who also enjoy a bit of man-on-man action, (even when it is unconsenting, if we are to believe some of the evidence from the ongoing trial of Deputy Speaker and Tory MP Nigel Evans).  But then again, perhaps the two positions aren't mutually exclusive.  It does seem that these bastards just want to 'fool around' a bit with blokes (the younger the better, it seems) - marriage and steady relationships aren't on the cards for these 'sons of fun', so why should they support it?  Besides, legalised gay marriage might encourage some of these rent-boys to get ideas, especially if they are illegal immigrants from South America...