Naturist Naturalists?

Those nude calenders, eh?  Remember when they were all the rage?  Remember when, on the dubious grounds that it was 'all for charity', the likes of middle-aged Women's Institute members, Rugby clubs and vicars used to pose starkers for calenders?  I say 'starkers', but you never actually saw anything - it was all artfully posed with carefully placed objects to cover up the naughty bits.  Apparently this sort of thing is no longer in vogue. Which is a pity.  I had assumed that the calender produced by the BBC programme Countryfile featured the presenters nude in some agricultural or wildlife context.  But it seems I was mistaken.  The annual calender competition they run is for viewers to submit photographs for the calender, rather than for them to suggest possible poses and locations for the presenters.  Which, I assume, leaves Chris Packham feeling disappointed.  I have absolutely no proof to support this, but he's always given me the impression that he'd like nothing better than to strip naked and commune with nature.  Like I said, I have no proof of this, but he just seems the sort.

I could easily imagine that the picture for March, for instance, would feature a naked Packham, full frontal to the camera, holding an alarmed looking owl in front of his groin.   August could be Julia Bradbury nude in a combine harvester, whilst I'm sure that Matt Baker would be more than happy to pose naked with a shepherd's crook for April, supervising the lambing, a strategically placed sheep dog covering his vitals.  Obviously, the programme doesn't have twelve presenters, so some doubling up would be required.  I'm sure Chris Packham would be happy to oblige.  Maybe he could do October, as well, this time sitting naked in front of a roaring fire in a country kitchen, legs crossed and caressing a ferret to cover up anything untoward.  Oh, let's not forget dear old John Craven.  I should imagine that they'd want to deploy him in January - a reassuring older figure who won't startle anyone and will help ease people into the nude theme.  I've always imagined that he'd be depicted driving a tractor naked, a three-quarters rear view, with him looking over his shoulder and just a peek of bum cleavage peeking up above the seat.  Maybe next year...