Cats On Death Row

Apparently in some US prisons, inmates on death row are allowed to keep pets, including cats.  At least, that's according to a friend at work who watched a TV documentary about it the other day.  Her worry, not surprisingly, bearing in mind that she rescues cats, was what happened to the felines if and when the inmate they belong to is executed?  Do they get 'transferred' to other death row inmates?  Are the re-homed outside the prison, possibly with the families of prison warders?  Personally, I thought that such solutions would be cruel - wouldn't the poor creatures just pine after their departed owners, wandering around the prison looking miserable and not eating?  As I told my friend, I'm sure that in these prisons they have a miniature electric chair which sits next to the main one and when an inmate is executed, their cat is strapped into it.  When the switch is thrown for the main chair, it simultaneously initiates the cat chair.  It would all be quick and relatively painless, I assured my friend.  Sure, the cat's fur would all stand on end and crackle, and it would probably smoke a bit, but basically it would be quite humane.  At least, that's what they always say when they execute a human being.

When I mentioned this discussion to my brother a few days later, he came up with a new refinement: instead of a little electric chair, an electric cat basket.  Which, when you think about it, is obvious.  What could be more natural than the cat curling up in its basket - once it is comfortable it will fall asleep, then ZAP!  What better way could there be for a cat to be executed, other than fried whilst asleep and content in a warm cat basket?  Mind you, if some nutter I heard on the radio the other day is in any way indicative of the levels of cat-hating in the US these days, then our feline friends could soon be finding themselves on death row in their own right, not just as the pets of inmates.  This guy - allegedly some kind of 'expert' - was ranting on about the fact that domestic cats are apparently responsible for decimating wildlife.  This is a hoary old 'statistic' which gets dragged up every few years.  One has to bear in mind that the only 'wildlife' that cats are big enough to kill are rodents and small birds.  In the case of the latter, there are many persuasive studies which argue that, in the UK at least, it is changes in habitat due to modern agricultural techniques, which are reducing bird numbers.  Anyway, even if cats do kill lots of 'wildlife', it's called 'natural selection' - if these mice and birds are stupid enough to get caught by cats, I have no sympathy.  Getting back to the point, I was half expecting this 'expert' to end his rant by demanding the death penalty for cats caught killing birds and mice.  To get back to the original point: needless to say that my friend is deeply unimpressed by any of my suggestions and has told me that I'm sick and will probably burn in hell.  Which is better than burning in an electric cat basket, I suppose.