Halloween 2011 at The Sleaze

Halloween again. Amongst watching the various bad Halloween sequels and other assorted 'horror' films on TV over the past few days, I've also found time to knock up an official Halloween 2011 story for The Sleaze: Horrible Sexy Ghosts. (I don't know why I say 'official' Halloween story - it isn't as if there's anyone going around illicitly writing and posting 'unofficial' stories, after all). The title is a homage to the 1970s continental schlock horror flick Horrible Sexy Vampire. Not that I've ever seen it - I know it only by reputation - but I've always loved the title. Usually I celebrate Halloween by having a vague supernatural/horror theme to all the stories I publish on the site during October. I must admit that this year the theme has been very vague: that said, they included a murdered prostitute, evil children created as homunculi by a mad Nazi scientist and demonic doppelgangers. I was hoping to be able to post a suitably themed film here as well, but unfortunately I just haven't had the time to edit together the footage. It will just have to wait until another time.

So, I've posted the Halloween story, poured boiling over the trick-or-treaters, sabotaged the neighbours' pumpkins by replacing the candles with bangers, now it's time for my Halloween to begin in earnest. It's time to put on my latest Halloween costume and cause havoc by scaring the shit out of the little bastards who go around knocking on people's doors this time of year and irritating them. This year I've plumped for the Jimmy Saville mask. Let's face it, he looked like a member of the undead when he was alive, so now that he's finally dead, he's doubly scary. Believe me, the children of Crapchester will soon be fleeing in fear from the bleached blonde, medallion wearing zombie lurching through the streets, gurgling 'Now then, now then', and 'How's about that then...' before yodelling and waving his cigar at them. Actually, since he died, there's been lots of talk about what a nice man Saville was and how much money he raised for charity. That's all well and good, but the fact is that I always found him more than a little creepy - especially when I was a child. Not that I'm saying he was a closet nonce or anything. But he did support Maggie Thatcher, and that's almost as bad.