Was it Something I Said?

I have to ask, as it appears that my next door neighbours have done a runner by night. It isn't the first time. I've mentioned before the previous neighbours who ran off on Christmas Day one year, leaving most of the contents of the house discarded in the back alley. The current bunch were slightly more discreet - the main clue to their departure being the hired van parked across the road and the sound of furniture being moved in the early hours of the morning. Not that the latter is unusual - they did seem to keep some very odd hours. They also moved in at about three in the morning, now that I come to think about it. Anyway, the fact is that they seem to have scarpered without saying a word to anyone, especially me. It's enough to make a man paranoid. I wouldn't mind, but until a couple of months ago, they'd barely exchanged a word with me. Now I'm wondering if it was something I said in any of those brief exchanges.

That said, I don't think I ever said anything to the other lot who vanished without warning. So maybe it isn't me. But nonetheless, it gets you to thinking - am I a good neighbour? I try to be - I try to keep the noise levels down and not play Deep Purple or Hendrix at full volume in the early hours. I'm certainly quieter than some of the other neighbours I've had - particularly that lot who not only shagged loudly, but also played the same bloody Killers single over and over again at one in the morning. I retaliated with Deep Purple's Machine Head at full volume. Then there was the one whose boyfriend used to turn up drunk at three in the morning, hammering on the door and shouting abuse until taken away by the police. Lest you think that I don't get on with any of my neighbours, I've actually got on pretty well with many of them. The ones before the latest absconders, for instance, were really nice and I was very sorry to see them go. At the end of the day, the high turn over of tenants next door has more to do with their landlord than me - several of them have spoken of him in less than glowing terms. Still, I could be wrong about the latest lot - maybe they've just gone on holiday. Although, in my experience, going on holiday doesn't usually involve hiring a van and loading your furniture into the back. Ah well, I await new neighbours with trepidation!