Wind Breaking Performance Cars

So, those so-called performance cars - do they have a tube that connects their exhaust system to the driver's anus?  Because, you know, I find myself increasingly suspecting that the so-called 'throaty' exhaust sound they make is actually the amplified farting of their drivers.  Just yesterday I was watching some idiot parking his Mercedes sports car in the car park at my local Aldi, (I mean, come on, you want us to believe that you are cool enough to drive a performance car, yet shop at a budget supermarket? Not that there's anything wrong with Aldi - obviously, I shop there myself - but, come on), they guy was doing everything to make out sure that everybody could here that exhaust.  Either that or, I mused to myself, he has terrible flatulence and it is all coming out of the tail pipe.  Maybe that's why it cut off so abruptly - he suddenly 'followed through' and clogged up the pipe.  The fact is that, the more I hear those loud exhausts, both on cars and motorcycles, the more like farting that it sounds, leaving me to conclude that the only explanation can be that it the driver (or rider) who is producing it.

This would, of course, explain a lot of things, not least as to why the Batmobile has blue flames shooting out of its exhaust, ('To the Batmobile Robin - I've got a violent one brewing').  Moreover, these sorts of cars (and bikes) represent the ultimate expression of (usually) male machismo.  So it is only fitting that they are fuelled on farts as, for certain types of man, farting is itself seem as a form of mahcismo.  You know the sorts, they usually play rugby and can be found in groups at pubs where they talk loudly and take pride in the fact that they can fart louder and more violently than anyone else, usually raising one leg to let rip some ear-splitting effusion in the direction of any unfortunates simply trying to enjoy a quiet pint.  These are the kind of people who drive these 'performance cars' - usually BMWs, Audis and Mercs - with equally farty exhaust notes.  Now, many years ago, I owned a couple of American  muscle cars in succession and they didn't feel the need to produce farting sounds from their exhausts - the American V-8 produces its own, distinctive sound without the need for assistance from the driver's bowels.