Can You Guess Who's Burning Yet?

So, Channel Four are 'courting controversy' again, are they?  Well, according to the print media they are with their plans for a show hosted by Jimmy Carr in which viewers can vote whether to burn a painting by Hitler, a painting by Rolf Harris or a painting by Picasso.  I'm not entirely sure where the controversy lies - in having tax dodger Jimmy Carr present the show, perhaps?  Personally, I think it obvious which one they should burn: Picasso has obvious artistic merit, while the Hitler work is of historical significance because of the artist, leaving the Rolf Harris for burning as it has neither historical significance nor artistic merit.  I mean, I remember seeing him do those paintings on kids' TV when I was a child - even then I knew they were shit.  Now, obviously, those that survive have only novelty value because thy were painted by a convicted sex offender.  To be honest, though, I don't think this TV show goes far enough - quite frankly, they should be burning Rolf Harris himself.  OK, I know that burning the artist rather than their work would, in this case, be an unfair contest as both Picasso and Hitler are already dead, (or is Hitler dead? conspiracy nuts are saying right now), but that's not the point.  This sort of show is about one thing - satisfying public bloodlust.  It's revenge-by-proxy.  We all know that the Picasso is just in there to tease the idea that high art might be destroyed at the whim of the contemptuous unwashed masses.  In reality, it is about re-enacting Britain's victory over the bosch bastards in World War Two and exacting revenge on Rolf Harris for being a nonce and, worse, having tainted our cherished memories of childhood innocence by forever linking them with sexual abuse.  All via burning their paintings.

But, as noted, short of locating Hitler's body, digging it up and burning him all over again, in his case the art burning is as close as we can get to re-iterating the triumph of British values.  (Not that there isn't precedent for this sort of thing, those sick Royalist psychopaths dug up Cromwell's body after the restoration and beheaded it, apparently disappointed that he escaped their wrath by dying).  Rolf Harris, however, is still with us, so why not burn him in person?  Preferably atop a funeral pyre of his paintings, didgeridoos, wobble boards and stylophones.  Ironically, the very tabloids currently tut-tutting over this Channel Four show would doubtless embrace the idea of immolating Rolf Harris whole heartedly: 'Burn a pedo today and win a week's holiday in Ibiza'.  Because they are very much into the concept of satisfying the public lust for revenge (which they've been instrumental in whipping up) against transgressors like sex offenders, immigrants, benefits claimants and single mothers.  To Hell with justice when you can have a good lynching instead, (besides, all those judges are 'enemies of the people' in thrall to Marxist ideology, determined to hand out soft sentences to criminals, so fuck the courts).  Which is why Channel Four need to rejig their show - ditch Picasso, the average vengeance lusting bigot won't ever have heard of him and as for Hitler, well, most would only vaguely know who he was and those who knew for sure would probably be admirers of his 'strong leadership'.  Instead have a Gary Glitter record and maybe a recording of Stuart Hall presenting It's a Knockout.  Have the contest be to destroy one of these artifacts and their progenitors.  Noe that would get the viewers in - although I'm sure that even with that super-pedo line up Rolf Harris would win hands down.  The only thing that could top it would be if they could dig up Jimmy Savile and somehow reanimate his corpse in order to kill him again.