Flagging Up Offence

I wipe my arse on the Union Jack daily.  I just thought that I'd put that out there in the hope that it will be read by some right wing, Daily Mail reading rabid tosspot, who will then have an apoplectic fit, collapsing, foaming at the mouth and clutching their chest as they turn blue and expire on their living room floor.  Because, you know, we've got to start 'thinning the herd' of these Brexiteering fascist enablers and what better way than by turning their own self-righteousness against them?  As I've noted before, despite the right's penchant for calling anyone on the left who has an opinion about something a 'snowflake', it is they who seem to be over-sensitive, over-reacting to any little thing that upsets them.  For the right, even the most modest criticism of the establishment becomes a heinous personal slight.  Of course, I don't really wipe my arse with the Union Jack, (and, yes, I do know that it is correctly called the Union Flag - a 'Jack' is what it is flown from on a ship), it is far too rough, for one thing, but I figured that if so many of them could get so upset by a mild joke about the size of a cabinet minister's flag by a BBC presenter, then the idea of using it like toilet paper would surely prove fatally upsetting to them. 

For this is their Kryptonite, their Achilles Heel, the chink in their armour - their over-sensitivity.  It will be, quite literally, the death of them.  We just need to get them upset enough.  What is needed is a concerted campaign on social media of people abusing the Union Flag - burning it, wanking off into it, using to wipe down sweaty and panting prostitutes, (a sight many Tory MPs must surely be familiar with).  Perhaps followed up by videos of people drawing moustaches on pictures of HM The Queen.  That should really get them riled up, eh?  Or better yet - doctored pictures of The Queen showing her as black.  If that doesn't have them turning purple and suffering strokes, I don't know what will.  But, to be slightly serious, this faux, over-exagerrated 'patriotism' on the part of the right, whereby no criticism of flag, Royal Family, Empire or Winston Churchill will be tolerated, really is pathetic.  It is also dangerous.  Indeed, anyone deemed 'unpatriotic' by dint of questioning or criticising any of the aforementioned, runs the risk of being 'cancelled'.  That's right, the much vaunted 'cancel culture' is actually being enacted by the right, not the left.  Of course, because they are in power, it means that they can actually shut down debates and discussions of these thing in academic institutions and other public forums.  Which makes it all the more important that we seize this window of opportunity to kill some of the bastards off by grossly offending them, before they cancel us.