Triple Boris

So, did Boris Johnson really recover from that bout of Covid-19?  Is there a cover up?  I mean, just look at the facts: the paucity of updates once he went into intensive care, the lack  of pictures - surely a self-publicist like Boris wouldn't have been able to resist such a photo opportunity: stricken PNM bravely combats killer virus while surrounded by NHS staff.  Then the cursory announcement that he's out of intensive care, yet still no actual statements from the man himself.  The only recent update being that he was now able to walk about a bit.  Look, it is quite obvious that the real Boris Johnson actually succumbed to the coronavirus, but to avoid public panic, the government covered it up while a clone was prepared under cover of him being in intensive care.  That's what all this stuff about him managing to walk is about - the clone Boris is clearly having to go through an accelerated development curve in order to pass as the real thing in short order.  No really, I have it on good authority that there is a revolutionary, but top secret, programme, whereby they can grow a clone to  adulthood from someone's tissue in only a few days.  Then it's just a matter of developing the mental faculties and implanting the memories.

Trust me, this is the only rational explanation for Boris Johnson's recent supposed stay in hospital.  After all, the odds against him recovering from a bout of coronavirus are pretty slim: he's overweight and a man in his fifties - two big strikes against him.  So I think that it is pretty clear that he is being replaced by a clone.  Perhaps more than one - that way he'll be able to multitask and get more done during this crisis.  If they created three, for instance, one could actually do the Prime Ministerial work, one could bugger of on holiday to the Seychelles, while the third impregnated several women.  If nothing else, it would mean that we had one Boris devoting his entire time to doing his actual job, rather than dividing his time between that and his other activities.  I know that a lot of people are going to say that this is far fetched, but, you know, it is no crazier than all those conspiracy theories about 5G spreading coronavirus which are doing the rounds.  With a little bit of effort, I think that we could get some traction for this clone theory - before you know it, the Daily Express will be reporting it as fact and declaring that with three Boris Johnsons at the helm the UK won't just leave the EU, but utterly destroy it.  Remember, you heard it here first.