Out On My Own

We gain insight from the unlikeliest of sources.  Some weeks ago I was watching and episode of Neighbours, in which Toadie's son, Callum, realises that his supposed best friend actually sees him as some kind of sidekick, a role he is understandably unhappy with.   At this point it occurred to me that this was exactly the problem I had with some of so-called 'friendships' - the 'friends' in question, (who hadn't been in contact for an age), clearly viewed me, not as an equal partner in the relationship, but as some kind of sidekick.  The more I thought about it, the clearer it became: meetings and venues were all at their convenience, conversations always about what they wanted to talk about.  Anything I wanted to do or talk about was sidelined.  I was left wondering how on earth I had allowed myself to be put in such a position?  Was I that desperate for human company that I was prepared to give up my independence and be relegated to the role of sidekick?

The answer to the latter question was, of course, a resounding 'no'.  The problem, I realised, was that I had been trying to conform to some conventional notion of 'normality', where we all have to have 'mates' we 'hang out' with.  A version of 'normality' where to enjoy your own company, to be bold enough to go out and enjoy yourself on your own, is seen as strange.  So, I decided to reassert my independence.  I've gone back to doing my own thing, going to the places I want to go to, when I want to.  Not surprisingly, these 'friends' have pretty much vanished altogether now.  I'm also a lot happier - I've got back to being myself.  I've also forged new acquaintanceships, (if that's a real word), based on mutual respect.  I've stopped being someone else's sidekick and got back to the role I'm happiest with - the independent loner.   All that from watching an episode of Neighbours.  Who says soap operas can't be life-changing?

(In the event of actual friends - many of whom I only have intermittent contact these days - reading this - I obviously don't mean you).