Real Rocky Relations

They always have to take things too far, don't they?  Not satisfied with spending the better part of the Summer attempting to unsettle the player with endless reports in their tame media talking up the prospects of a transfer, Real Madrid's pursuit of Spurs winger Gareth Bale has now reached ludicrous levels.  I mean, all this nonsense over Gibraltar is clearly just another extreme negotiating tactic.  Real are clearly getting desperate - I mean, over the weekend, Bale's failure to land the Dr Who role, (he lost out to Peter Capaldi),  must have given them hope that, having missed out on his dream job, Bale might consider Real Madrid instead.  However, with Spurs chairman Daniel Levy unreasonably standing firm in demanding the Spanish outfit actually pay Tottenham money for their player, Real Madrid have realised that desperate measures are called for - hence the lengthy delays at the border between Gibraltar and Spain.

But we Brits are made of sterner stuff.  We won't be intimidated by these football bullies!  Take your alleged £600 million pounds of losses, Real Madrid, and shove 'em!  You still haven't finished paying us for Luka Modric, who you signed last year.  Do you really think we believe that you'll actually pony up for Bale?  As for those queues at the border with Gibraltar?  Well, guess what?  We're British (and Gibraltarian) - we enjoy queuing!  Oh yeah, while we're talking about Gibraltar - take your fucking monkeys back!  Do you really think we're going to give you Gibraltar (or Gareth Bale) just because you keep sending your hooligan Macaques to throw their shit at our people there?  Oh, I know that you claim they come from Africa originally, not Spain, but you would bloody say that, wouldn't you?  Blame the Africans, eh?  We know all about the state of race relations in Spain - we haven't forgotten the abuse your racists directed at Lewis Hamilton, then tried to pretend it was a 'joke'.  Ha, bloody, ha!  Maybe we should get Bale to black up - wouldn't be so keen on him then, eh?

Well, that's clarified that issue, I'm sure.