Tuesday, July 10, 2007

West Bank Whack Off

Britain's porn industry heaved a collective sigh of relief yesterday, following the release of celebrated adult film performer Keith Nutsack (known professionally as Rod Walloper), who had been held hostage in Gaza by militant Palestinian porn producers for over three months. "It was a terrible ordeal," Nutsack told the press. "I was forced to perform in numerous low-budget productions - frequently without proper stimulation or lubrication!" Nutsack was seized by the militants whilst he was in Gaza filming the controversial adult production West Bank Whack Off for Handjob Films. "It seems that they objected to the lead character - Yasser Crackafat - being played by a non-Arab," explains a spokesperson for the production company. "I would like to reassure everyone that we didn't give in to their demands and recast the part - when production resumes Keith will still be playing the lead. We'd like to emphasise that his casting was a purely artistic decision, not a political one. We simply could not find a performer of Arabic background who had the skills and experience to perform this difficult role."

Nutsack's ordeal sparked global anger following the release of a video showing him, clearly exhausted, dressed in bondage gear and strapped to a rack. In the video he stated that if any attempt was made to rescue him, the militants would blow him off. It was clear that in his weakened state, even the mildest fellatio would have proven fatal. Speaking after his release, Nutsack revealed that he had genuinely feared for his life at the time the video was shot. "I was so weak after weeks of being forced to perform at gunpoint, that I really thought I couldn't get it up any more," he says. "I knew that if I couldn't salute the flag and sink the soldier on demand, I'd have out lived my usefulness to them." Although Handjob refused to recast the part of Yasser Crackafat in order to secure Nutsack's release, it is understood that they have agreed to distribute a number of the Palestinian pornos he was forced to perform in, including Hamas Hand Job, Riyadh Rub Off and Gaza Gazonkas. The company has also confirmed that production of West Bank Whack Off is to relocate to Spain.

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